This happens all the time and is very annoying. 60% of married men (but only 32% of women) say they want more sex (M. Brown & Auerback, 1981), which means that most married men feel the same way you do.

Saying that your marriage is "happy" is very important. Things can get a lot better if you have good relationships and talk to each other. Most married women lose their sex drive over time, especially those who have kids. It's true. Still, there are a few easy things you can do:

Take charge of the situation and make the first move. If your partner loses her sex drive, she won't want to have sex with you. You can talk about it and try to break the routine, which many people say works in the short run. But I don't think you can make changes that will last. You need to accept that her normal level of desire is low and that there isn't much you can do about it. Your goal should be to change how she reacts when you ask her to have sex, so that when you do, she generally agrees. Don't wait for her to first move; it will only make you angry.

Your partner should know and feel that her happiness, not yours, is the most important thing in your sexual relationship. In physical relationships, studies show that men have three times as many orgasms as women do on average. About a quarter of women say they come every time they have sex. Make sure you're not one of those people—your partner needs to orgasm at least once during each encounter, and you should only orgasm when she's happy.

When it comes to sex, the most important thing is to get your partner to think more logically instead of emotionally. Your partner won't want to have sex with someone who has low sex drive, so you'll probably get turned down. Because of this, you want your partner to respond to your sex advances based on what she thinks, not how she feels.

To do that, you need to give her time to think, so it's best to let her know a few hours ahead of time. She also has to really enjoy the sexual experience for it to make sense for her to want more of it, even if her natural desire is low. that's why her joy should be at the center of your sexual relationship.

You need to figure out how to make her pleasure even greater. I really think that sex toys should be used during sexual activity in long-term relationships. Between 75% and 80% of women can't get an orgasm from entry and mush stimulation.

You can give your partner much bigger orgasms than she is used to and more than one if you use clitoral sex toys the right way. This will change the way she thinks about sex for the better. It's not likely to change her basic sex drive, but she'll respond much better to your advances.

Lesson Summary

Research shows that in marriages, there is often a difference in sexual desires between men and women. Married men are more likely to want more sex compared to married women.

• 60% of married men express a desire for more sex compared to 32% of married women.

It is essential to maintain open communication and work on improving your relationship to address differing sex drives.

Here are some key points to consider:

• Take charge of the situation and make the first move to initiate intimacy.
• Break out of routine to keep things interesting.
• Accept differences in natural desire levels and focus on improving mutual pleasure.
• Ensure your partner's pleasure and satisfaction are prioritized during sexual encounters.
• Encourage logical thinking over emotional reactions when it comes to sex.
• Give your partner time to process sexual advances and plan ahead for intimate moments.
• Consider incorporating sex toys to enhance pleasure, especially for women who may have difficulty achieving orgasm through traditional means.

While addressing differences in sex drive may not change the fundamental desire levels, focusing on mutual enjoyment and satisfaction can lead to a more fulfilling sexual relationship.